


Not Now, Not Ever

by orphan_account



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-13
Updated: 2011-10-13
Packaged: 2017-10-24 14:24:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/264501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While on the search for more mutants, Charles falls ill. Erik does his best to take care of him. Alas, powerful telepaths like Charles are not always easy to control, even when they are ill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Now, Not Ever

**Author's Note:**

  * For [givehimonemore](https://archiveofourown.org/users/givehimonemore/gifts).



“Wake up, Charles.”

Erik shook Charles as gently as he could. He’d forced Charles into bed as soon as they’d gotten to the hotel. Charles had tried to hide his illness, but once Erik started catching stray strands of his thoughts while they were on the road together, even Charles realized that there was no point in denying it.

By the time they reached the hotel, Charles was burning up, and apparently unable to stop himself from projecting feverish, frenzied thoughts. More concerned than ever, Erik had run over to the drugstore as soon as Charles had fallen asleep and bought some flu remedies.

He knew that he had to bring Charles’ fever down, both because he wanted Charles well, and because he could think of few things worse than a powerful telepath temporarily unable to control his ability. It was easy to overlook how incredible Charles was. He was kind and mild-mannered. Beneath that exterior, however, lay steely self-control and strength.

Erik placed his hand on Charles’ forehead and frowned. His temperature had to have risen still more in his absence. Once more, Erik said, “Wake up, Charles.”  
 _  
_Charles stirred slightly and began coughing. When he opened his eyes, Erik became more concerned still. There was usually a clarity to Charles’ gaze; now he looked disoriented, confused. Erik placed the bag he’d gotten at the drugstore onto the bed and began sorting through its contents.

Suddenly, Erik realized that he felt oddly anxious, antsy; as he took the thermometer out, he saw that his hands were shaking. He looked at Charles, whose whole body was shaking, and realized that the emotions he was experiencing were not his own. Charles was projecting. Erik took a deep breath.

 _Sorry._

Erik was about to reprimand Charles for not simply speaking aloud when he saw how much difficulty Charles was having simply breathing without starting to cough. He supposed that he could let it slide, just this once.

 _Thank you. It’s much appreciated. And, again, I’m sorry._

“For what?”

 _Everything. I shouldn’t be sick like this. We have work to do. Also, I apologize for projecting, earlier. I haven’t done that inadvertently since I was a child._

“I’m not surprised that you’ve fallen ill. You’ve been working too hard. For one, you’ve been using Cerebro far more often than you should; I’ve seen how much working with that machine drains you.”

 _That’s nonsense._

Erik glanced at Charles skeptically; as he did so, Charles was overtaken by yet another coughing fit. Erik realized that he’d have to put the thermometer under Charles’ arm, even if that would yield a slightly lower reading. Gently, he pinned Charles down and did just that.

When enough time had elapsed, Erik pulled out the thermometer and scrutinized it. When he made out the number, he shook his head. The fact that Charles had _any_ control over his abilities when he was this ill was a true testament to–

 _It’s not that bad. If you give me the flu remedies you bought, I’ll be right as rain. We can even go out and see if we can figure out where our latest find is hiding._

“Absolutely not. You’re staying in bed until you’re well again.” Erik offered Charles three pills; shakily, Charles took them from the palm of Erik’s hand.

 _Water._

“Just a moment.” Erik got up and quickly fetched a glass of water from the bathroom. Once Charles put the pills in his mouth, he placed the glass beneath Charles’ lips. Charles swallowed the pills with a small sip.

 _So cold._

Erik was pretty sure that Charles hadn’t meant to project that; still, he gently guided him back beneath the covers. Charles looked up at him gratefully. His eyes were shining from the fever, and his cheeks were flushed.

 _I’ll be fine._

“I was serious before. You have to slow down or you’re going to burn yourself out,” Erik said.

 _I can handle it._

“It doesn’t look that way from where I’m standing.”

Charles didn’t respond; instead, he shut his eyes. Erik watched as he drifted back into unconsciousness. Hopefully Charles would realize, as a result of this incident, that he really did need to stop using Cerebro so much. Erik sighed, only now realizing that he, too, was rather exhausted. Now that Charles was sleeping again, and hopefully on the way to recovery, he could probably sneak in a nap. So he climbed into bed next to Charles, who instantly curled up against him. Before he knew it, he was sound asleep.

* * *

When Erik woke, Charles was no longer beside him in bed. But before he could even try to find him, Erik felt a wave of pure euphoria wash through him. He nearly gasped. He’d never felt anything remotely like it. He felt so strong – omnipotent, almost – and he instantly knew that he’d never been so vibrantly, vividly alive.

 _It’s good, isn’t it?_

Erik looked up; Charles was pacing back and forth in their small room. He was practically glowing, and his face shone with sweat. But he couldn’t find it in him to be concerned, not when he felt like this.

 _I can feel them all. All the minds. They shine. They shine like beacons in the middle of the night, like the sparkling of city lights. Isn’t it amazing? You’re not even getting it all. What you’re feeling is a shadow, an echo._

Erik’s heart began racing; for a few seconds, he couldn’t even breathe.

 _That’s more like it. You have to get used to it. I was almost frightened when I woke up and felt the fire burning inside every single mind. But now I know not to be afraid. Now I know that they all belong to me._

Ecstasy notwithstanding, Erik was beginning to wonder what was causing this. The fever? The medicine he’d given Charles to treat it?

 _Both. Neither. Why does it matter, Erik? I’ve been given a gift. It’s time I started to use it properly. No, I will not settle down. I won’t go back to bed. I can make everybody feel this. Everybody. Not just you. Everybody. Doesn’t everybody deserve something so incredible? It’s infinite. It’s perfect. We are all such flawed and frail creatures but there is something burning inside each and every one of us, Erik. You just have to look. You just have to look hard enough._

“I don’t know whether you should–”

 _I know the world in which you live, Erik. It’s dark and it’s dangerous. But there is light, so much light. There is so much love. Everybody should see that. It won’t tax me too much to project it to the rest of the city. I just have to concentrate. It’s hard to concentrate. There’s too much. But I’ll get it. I have to get it. They must be taught. They must be taught that there is beauty – such beauty – hidden in their own hearts._

Charles’ pacing grew more rapid, until a coughing fit forced him to lean back against the wall. For a second, it looked like he was going to collapse completely; in that moment, Erik felt millions of images flash through his mind at once. Once Charles settled down, sitting cross-legged on the carpeted floor, the images stopped.  
 _  
“It is not necessary that you leave the house. Remain at your table and listen. Do not even listen, only wait. Do not even wait, be wholly still and alone. The world will present itself to you for its unmasking, it can do no other, in ecstasy it will writhe at your feet.”_

“So you think that this is what Kafka had in mind when he wrote that?” Erik asked.

 _What else could he have meant?_

Charles started coughing again, gasping for air; immediately, Erik raced over to Charles’ side.

“You’re in no shape to–”

The white light was blinding, like a phosphorous flare. The high was tremendous. He could feel the presence of so many other people pressing at the edges of his mind. They were each giving off a unique energy. Alone, they were but single notes; together, they were a spectacular symphony. Erik felt a chill run through him. Then, as abruptly as it had started, the feeling stopped. He was alone again.

And, in front of him, Charles was slumped over, unconscious.

* * *

He wouldn’t wake up. Charles wouldn’t wake up, and it was his fault. He hadn’t stopped him. At his most powerful, Charles was a force of nature. But he should have made him see reason. He should have prevented him from overexerting himself when he was so weak. Now he could only stare helplessly at Charles’ motionless body and pale face, so utterly devoid of its usual animation. Erik looked at the clock on the wall of their drab hotel room, and then stared back at Charles.

An hour passed this way. Then two. Three.

Damn, Erik thought. Damn it. What had he let Charles do to himself? Just as he was about to give up hope, however, he felt Charles’ psychic presence again. He turned back to Charles just in time to see him tentatively open his eyes. Suddenly, Erik’s head felt as though it were about to split open.

 _Sorry._

Charles shut his eyes again, immediately.

“Need some aspirin?” Erik asked once he recovered.

 _Please. But whatever you do, don’t give me whatever it was I took previously. I don’t have it in me to do that again._

“Did you really project to the entire–”

 _Yes._

“Very impressive,” Erik commented, lifting Charles up and helping him take the aspirin. Charles gulped the water Erik offered him down gratefully. “Try and drink it slowly, all right? That way, you won’t make yourself ill,” Erik added.

 _Trying._

“You know, with that unassuming manner of yours, it’s easy to forget how powerful you are.”

 _Precisely._

Erik placed the empty glass on the bedside table and let Charles lie down again. He was almost afraid of letting him go back to sleep, he realized to his chagrin. He didn’t want to lose his presence in his mind. Strange. He usually really resented Charles’ intrusions; right now, however, he didn’t want him to stop.

 _Don’t worry. You won’t lose me. Not now, not ever._

“I thought that I had.” Erik shook his head. “You had me really worried.”

 _I’m sorry._

Charles reached out towards Erik, weakly tugging him down towards the bed. Erik didn’t resist, curling up around Charles for the second time and holding him close.

 _Not now, not ever._

With that thought echoing through both their minds, Charles and Erik slipped into a deep sleep.


End file.
